These are very raw notes with all kinds of shorthand. Just posting because I promised to do so.

2018 is a year of flourishing!

Patterns we embrace reveal the priorities and purposes of our lives. When we embrace a pattern we express a purposeful priority.

Great sermons don’t fix broken systems. There is always an engine under the hood.

  • Routine maintenance is a must!

We are most effective when we are supernaturally inspired.

John 3:6 “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. NAS

Being devotd to good is one thing but being convicted by God is another

Daniel’s spirit of excellence was born from his deep sense of conviction producing a devotion that was beyond a natural origin.

Conviction produces courage & resilience from a deeper place than human grit.

1 Thes 1:4 The Holy Spirit put steel in ur convictions. MSG

Convictions need an irrational conclusion. Preferences need an open conversation.

Impossible to embrace all God has for you and keep everyone in your life happy. #convictions

Next time somebody is being neg about u remember Jx not only said inevitable but actually cautioned us about living so indifferently there is no human reaction: Luke 6:26 Woe to you when all men speak well of you… NIV

Forgiveness – Neg situations can’t bring u down unless you let them in.

  • Water never sinks a boat unless it gets inside the boat. More water just makes the boat float higher.

Ps 92:13 planted in the house of the LORD, they will

Ability 2 lead will always b limitd to ur willingness to manage pain.

Leadership is complicated and difficult but that’s what ldrs do. We do difficulty well


Community Group convo: “We have grown! Pastor wants us to divide up into 3 groups now that we’ve become so large. It’s a great problem. Here is the plan”

Owning a decision that’s not urs is the sign of great maturity. Blaming leadership for a decision fosters disunity. “Wouldn’t be this way If I were in charge” = Absolam


Challenges are inevitable courage is optional. Conviction is foundtionl to having the courage to face the challenge: Conviction, Courage and Relational I.Q.


Who loves conflict?

Phil 3:10  [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively becom more deeply & intimately acquainted with Him… (AMP)


AW Tozer, “When I understand that everythg happening to me is to make me more X like, it resolves a great deal of anxiety”


Ultimate objective must never be merely get job done. Ultimate objective=2b mor lk Jx


“When ministry feels like fam U know something’s really right.”

  • Conflict is a normal part of any healthy fam


Xtn Psychologists, Les & Leslie Parrot, make startling claim abt marriage and all forms of team explaining that conflict is the only way to true intimacy.


?Why do ppl avoid conflict?

  1. Easier in the moment but painful over time.
  2. Don’t feel equipped
  3. Personal fears/insecurities


Convictn givs birth to courage


If my concern for how you will feel about me outruns my concern for you I’m loving myself more than I’m loving you.


Clearly Jx didn’t shy away frm being dirct in his love 4 othrs


Avoiding conflict almost guarantees will fail to bld relationally deep teams


Avoiding conflict doesn’t mean it isn’t there anymore. Avoiding it brings additional negative tension to the relational atmosphere.


Think of conflict as energy. Energy not dealt w correctly is becomes neg energy feeding neg attitudes.


Conflict isn’t pleasant, but it’s your necessary friend. Don’t avoid it. Insist on it. Jx wasn’t  Mr. Rogers.


Challenges are inevitable courage is optional. Conviction is foundtionl to having the courage to face the challenge: Conviction, Courage and Relational I.Q.




Relationships are the human economy and the ambition to be wealthy in the human economy is to be like Jesus!


Increasing our relational intelligence is a discovery process that requires our attention, focus and intentionality if we desire to grow in it.


4 kinds of people we deal with:


  1. “THE MANIACS”—are the exploders. These people are walking time bombs. They yell…cuss…or throw things when upset or frustrated.


  1. “THE MUTES”—are the silent type. They don’t blow up.They clam up. They hold it in and hide their true feelings. Puffer Fish


  1. “THE MARTYRS”—are the best at holding pity-parties. Instead of getting angry, they get depressed. Martyrs make everyone else miserable too. “Love our sign!!! Hated it! All good just feel lead to leave…yr later…lied to me in my office!


  1. “THE MANIPULATORS”—don’t get mad… get even. Retaliate in underhanded way. Use sarcasm and office politics to express their hurt.

Wisdom starts from God’s P.O.V. God is love so wisdom starts from Love’s point of view!


Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.


Understanding their position blds relational strength.


Jesus didn’t die so we could have peace at church.


The desire here is to see every person grow & mature becoming more like Christ!


Love is patient not passive!


Be kind but let your kindness stay true to conviction –

producing courage as we

possess higher relational I.Q.


Ends with Rel IQ God/Others





I saw a demonic army so large that it stretched as far as I could see. It was separated into divisions, with each carrying a different banner. The foremost and most powerful divisions were Pride, Self righteousness, Selfish Ambition, and Unrighteous Judgment, but the largest of all was Jealousy. The leader of this vast army was the Accuser of the Brethren himself.


The weapons carried by this horde had names on them: the swords were named Intimidation; the spears were named Treachery; and their arrows were named Accusations, Gossip, Slander and Faultfinding. Scouts and smaller companies of demons with such names as Rejection, Bitterness, Impatience, Unforgiveness and Lust were sent in advance of this army to prepare for the main attack.


The main assignment of this army was to cause division. It was sent to attack every level of relationship-churches with each other, congregations with their pastors, husbands and wives, children and parents, and even children with each other. The scouts were sent to locate the openings in churches, families or individuals that rejection, bitterness, lust, etc., could exploit and make a larger breech for the divisions that were coming.

The most shocking part of this vision was that this horde was not riding on horses, but on Christians! Most of them were well-dressed, respectable, and had the appearance of being refined and educated. These were Christians who had opened themselves to the powers of darkness to such a degree that the enemy could use them and they would think that they were being used by God. The Accuser knows that a house divided cannot stand, and this army represented his ultimate attempt to bring such complete division to the church that she would completely fall from grace.


The enemy wants to combine our disappointments and frustrations with our insecurities as divisive weapons to drive us into places of disconnection.


Spiritual maturity is defined in this book unlike anything I’ve ever read. Very challenging and wonderfully descriptive.


This book will deepen your conviction, awaken your courage & illuminate your Relational IQ.


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